I’m lying in bed taking my turn being sick with just my thoughts to keep me company. I use to be dreaming of skiing and riding my new bike or finishing my December daily album, but now I’d be happy to just vacuum the floor or clean out the fridge. Perspective is everything.

My mind keeps slipping to the new year and what I want to focus on. So much of 2016 I thought had to do with trusting others, but what I came away with was really me trusting myself, that is where I lacked and that is what was holding me back from forward movement. While I’m not 100% where I want to be in this regard, I have made huge strides to where I started and feel more confident then ever in who I am and the direction I want to go. Now that foundations of trust have been laid it’s time to build and strengthen my footholds. In 2017 I will focus on building a more full life. Letting go of where I thought I’d be and start building from where I’m at keeping in mind who I am and working with my strengths to overcome my weaknesses.

It’s amazing how I can be surrounded by people and yet feel so alone. I know that it’s me distancing myself from others that’s creating this feeling. In 2017 I want to break down these walls and build connections. I want to Allow myself to be seen and loved. With Adam I want closeness. The last few months with him out of work we’ve had to find our way together in a whole new way while we’ve been reaching for different things. We are such different people and instead of thinking that its to our detriment I want to find ways it can strengthen us and use it to build what we have created together.

As time goes on and my girls get older I feel like our moments to connect are fewer and fewer. I am missing my little girls, but loving the women they are becoming. I want to build stronger ties with them by more one on one time to connect. More listening, less advice unless asked for. More loving teaching moments. Finding more ways to serve them to show my love.

In 2017 I want to Build on my creative momentum and create a business. In 2016 I began to really trust my creative ability and build up my YouTube channel. It’s been very interesting to see the shift that took place once I dove in instead of sitting on the periphery waiting until I got it just right. So grateful I am finding my creative confidence and that it’s starting to bare fruit.

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In 2017 I want to Build my knowledge in the gospel. Read more church books i.e. scriptures. Make a goal to read all the Sunday lessons for 2017.

In 2017 I want to create joy and built up those joy filled experience. Appreciate it while it’s happening and understand it’s not always going to be there and that’s ok.

Even though I’m not feeling 100% right now physically, I know if I show up and do the work I can build my relationships and with God’s help overcome my weakness to build a full meaningful life.